heathervescent: consumerism

It's the holiday shopping season and of course that means the glut of shopping, spending money and buying stuff.

I was walking through a shop in Menlo Park last week with a friend and we realized we have very different experiences of shopping and purchasing. He goes into a store and sees interesting things. Just knowing that these things exist and if he has a few moments to admire or hold them are satisfying. I, on the other hand, go into a store and see things, could imagine wearing or using or having them around to admire in my own space and want to own them. I like to find interesting things to give to someone. It's something new they wouldn't find or something I want to see the reaction of the person.

Sometimes I give people things as an investment. I give them something because I want something back. Sometimes this is obvious and I'm aware of it and sometimes I'm not. I really try to stay away from this because it's not satisfying and backfires in the end. Sometimes the attachment is due to the cost. It's the ROI (return on investment) with the gift. Did/Is the person getting the amount of satisfaction / excitement / etc. from the gift I gave them? Is that reaction worth $50, $500 or $5000? Sometimes it is. (That's the basis of the priceless Visa ads.) Yes, some things are priceless - but can be bought with money. (Also this can be applied in reverse - I got a bargain and that person really really liked it.) Commensurate.

Sometimes I give people things with attachments. This is slightly different than giving investments. Giving something with attachments is a kind of homework. It's a particular type of energy I put into the gift - I suppose you could compare it with guilt (although guilt is more of an investment than attachment). However, I'm detached on the outcome of the "homework". I could care less if they pick up on the attachment - I've given them this gift to point them in a direction they need to go in - they can choose to pay attention or ignore it.

I get tremendous satisfaction by the act of purchasing.

Sometimes I buy things because I like the store - it's funky, hip or unique and I want to support it. Sometimes the products are interesting and I want them to be out in the world - not on display in a store. Sometimes I'm feeling off and I end up buying way more than I mean to. Sometimes I buy things to be excessive with money. Sometimes I buy things and then regret buying them later. Sometimes I return them, sometimes I am too tired, scared, embarrassed to return them. It's just money after all. And you can always make more money.

Realizing that I am somewhat satisfied by buying stuff made me feel shallow. I've always thought that consumerism and shopping to satisfy something inside you made you shallow. So when I told Carson that I realized I feel validated and get pleasure from spending money he just laughed. Laughed and laughed and laughed as we drove down Sunset. Does the awareness that you get pleasure from a "shallow" activity make you shallow? Being shallow with awareness. That sounds deep. ;)