reading page 119 in sleeping in flame propelled my thoughts into a new thought dimension. Carroll didn't spell it out like this, but he wrote in some hooks that, like the midget, pushed me out the window. these thoughts are my own and I wasn't doing anything other than drinking coffee and breathing the Venice air.
These ideas
- there is a finite amount of time in which life exists (say 0-N)
- there are a finite number of vessels (anything that has "life" from a cicada to you reading this right now.
- reincarnation happens, but you don't always come back in the future. you can come back at any point in the finite timeness of life
- in fact, there really is no time. "Time" is what allows awareness to experience itself and evolve (i.e. learn)
- we are recycled constantly into the "past", "present", "future"
- this recycling within time, within vessels (bodies) happens constantly. It is a constant circle.
- Perhaps through the cycle, you are recycled into every single living thing that has, does and will ever exist.
- There is really no difference between you and that jerk who cut you off on the freeway today. One life you are the one being cut off, the next you are being cut off. and if there is no difference between you and that jerk between the millions and millions of years difference from switching bodies - what is the real different between you today?
- You could say that the myth of Heaven and Hell explains this in perfect symbolism.
- some people will experience all the forms and vessels of life.
- some will experience very few.
- there will be times when the "world", "the arena" are filled with many vessels
- and times when there are very few
- and they will evolve and mutate and create and destroy and everything you can possibly imagine and more
- And there is a way out or a way beyond the circle/cycle.
- But it doesn't really matter whether or not you care or even know about all this. Or if you get out or transcend it.
So you over there, reading this entry. Hello you. You're me. And I'm you, thinking and typing this right now.
Thinking all this, made me almost feel hopeless. Why bother almost came into mind. Why continue to exist if I'm "doomed" to be all these jerks or have the amazing opportunity to experience everything. To be a man, a woman, a mother, a killer, killed, an un-elected president, a dictator, an activist, a nomad and everything else. I've been all those things and I've been the opposite and I'm all those things and the opposite right now.
But no really, I'm just an almost divorced 30 year old woman with the ability to fascinate almost anyone. But then again, I'm also all of you too.
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